A Tribute to Dr. John Kappas (1925-2002)

Though I never met Dr. John Kappas in person, he has contributed much to my personal life and my understanding and practice of hypnosis. He wrote Professional Hypnotism Manual o Improve Your Sex Life Through Self-Hypnosis o Self-Hypnosis the Key to Athletic Success. Relationship Strategies: E & P Attraction. I use the Suggestibility Questionnaire with all out/patients and clients. I also ask a few questions from the Questionnaire to get an idea of the suggestibility of the patients that I work with.

SUGGESTIBILITY: A PERSON STORY: Back in the middle 80s, I completed HMI Courses 101, 201, 301. From those courses, I learned about physical and emotional suggestibility, which has had a profound positive effect on my success rate as a hypnotherapist. By using the Suggestibility Questionnaire, I can word my suggestions in ways that ways that will best benefit the client. While giving information to the clients, I tell them that the Suggestibility Questionnaire is a communication tool, not a psychological evacuation, so they should not worry about contradicting themselves. I tell them that by knowing how they respond to suggestions, I can word suggestions for their success. Understanding the importance of the Suggestibility Questionnaire, I quit doing group sessions for Stop Smoking and Weight Control many years ago. As a result my success rate with all clients, especially smokers, has increased tremendously.

Some people respond best to direct suggestion, while others respond best to indirect suggestion. Most of us can respond to both direct and indirect suggestions but generally have a preference for one or the other. Our suggestibility usually comes from our primary care giver (usually our mother). If the child experiences his mother saying what she means and meaning what she says, he/she will usually be more responsive to direct suggestions. If the verbal and nonverbal part of her communication does not express the same thing, the child begins to search for the real meaning. The individual begins to look for the implied meaning, rather than what is actually said. This person usually responds best to indirect or implied suggestions. Balanced suggestibility comes when, in certain areas, the mother is consistent in what she says while, in other areas, she gives conflicting messages. [John G. Kappas, Professional Hypnotism Manual]

My dominant response is direct, but I tend to be close to the middle, for when my mother told me not to do something, I knew she meant it. If she told me to do something, then I should do it. There was a cause and effect. Mother laid down the law and I followed it, or I reaped the consequences. On the other hand, Mother could be indirect in her request. She might say to me, Paul, don't you think you should go see Mrs. Smith? She is sick and she gave you a gift for Christmas last year. Now, that sounds like I have a choice, but I did not. She meant for me to go see Mrs. Smith and, if my answer to her was no, she would let me know in no uncertain terms that I was to go. She was not asking a question when she said Paul, are you going to wear that shirt with those pants? She meant for me to change shirts or pants because she did not think they matched.

An interesting aspect of our suggestibility is that there is a tendency for a person who hears directly to speak indirectly and for the person who hears indirectly to speak directly. I learned this with my communication with my wife. Bobbie and I have been married since 1958 but it was not until the 80s that I learned about suggestibility. When I began to study how people communicate regarding direct and indirect suggestions, I remembered an incident that occurred several years ago.

Bobbie was cooking supper and we were having meatballs and spaghetti. She was preparing the French bread by buttering the bread and putting garlic salt on top. I don't like garlic salt on my toast and she knew that I did not like dry toast. I always wanted my bread buttered before it was toasted. When I saw her putting the garlic salt on the toast, I said, Don't put any thing on my toast. When we sat down to eat, I noticed that Bobbie had put dry toast by my plate. I asked, Why do I have dry toast? Bobbie said You told me not to put anything on your toast. I said, We have been married for more than 20 years and I have never wanted a piece of dry toast. She said, Well I just did what you asked me to do. She hears directly and speaks indirectly.

Bobbie likes the room temperature warmer than I do. She may say Does it seem cold to you? For many years, I would say, No, and in a short time she would be angry at me and I would not know why. I would say What is the matter? and she would respond, Nothing! - You seem to be upset about something. What is the matter? - You know. - No, I do not know. After we went through that exercise for a while, she would say, I asked you to turn up the air conditioning and you didn't do it. Well, I finally learned that Bobbie's questions were really requests. Now when she says, Does it seem cold to you? I respond, No, but if you would like the air conditioning turned up, I will be glad to do it. Or I say, No, can I get you a quilt so you can be warmer? Understanding a person's suggestibility can help your therapeutic work and your private life as it did mine. I will follow this article with an article on understanding Human Sexuality using the Kappas model.

Editors Note:
The Suggestibility Questionnaire and Sexuality Questionnaire and how to score them can be found in the books mentioned in this column.